The Wicked Son

Several days ago, religious Jews around the world read the Haggadah, an anthology of traditions related to the biblical commandment to recount the story of the exodus every Passover. One of the more troubling passages concerns the discussion of the four sons. As the Baal Haggadah states:

“כנגד ארבעה בנים דיברה תורה, אחד חכם, אחד "רשע, אחד תם, ואחד שאינו יודע לשאול.

The Torah speaks regarding four kinds of sons (children?): One is the wise son, one is the wicked son, one is the simple son, and one is the son who knows not how to ask.”

This addresses an exegetical issue with the biblical passages commanding to recount the Exodus narrative to one's sons; four separate biblical verses repeat this requirement, each using different terminology for the father's response. The Baal Haggadah explains this phenomenon by positing that each passage refers to a different sort of child, each demanding an individually crafted response.

The second son is the Rasha, the wicked son. As the Baal Haggadah writes:

-רשע מה הוא אומר? מה העבודה הזאת לכם? לכם ולא לו. ולפי שהוציא את עצמו מן הכלל כפר בעיקר. ואף אתה הקהה את שיניו ואמר לו: בעבור זה עשה ה’ לי בצאתי ממצרים. לי - ולא לו. אילו היה שם לא היה נגאל.

What does the wicked son say? “What is this worship for you?” “For you” but not for himself. Since he excluded himself from the collective (of the Jewish people) he has denied the fundamentals (of Judaism). You too, (respond to him in kind,) knock out his teeth, and tell him the following: “It is for this (worship) that God has performed for me when I left Egypt.” “For me” but not for him; as if he was there he would not have been redeemed.

This response has troubled many modern Jewish commentators, who look askew at such harsh treatment of the disinterested son. Shouldn't we “Just Love Them”? Why does the father give up from teaching his son? And how can a parent speak to their child with such rejection?

That such issues concerned the Baal Haggadah himself is unlikely. Nevertheless, can this text be reclaimed and revitalized for liturgical use for those who share such sensibilities? I would like to suggest such an approach that offers perspective that IMHO ought to shape much of modern Jewish thinking.

בכל דור דור חייב אדם לראות את עצמו כאילו הוא יצא ממצרים. שלא את אבותינו בלבד גאל הקדוש ברוך הוא ממצרים, אלא אף אותנו גאל עמהם.

In every generation a person must view himself as if he left Egypt. For the Holy One, Blessed is He, did not redeem just our ancestors, rather he has redeemed us together with them.

Much ink has been spilled to explain this concept. However, on a practical level, the religious significance of the Exodus narrative is not primarily for the characters in the narrative itself. Indeed, the narrative itself is likely ahistorical . But as all successful narratives do, it shapes the identity of those who recount it. The Israelites did not exist as an independent entity in Egypt, they were completely subjugated to a foreign people. The Exodus is a story of the birth of a nation, of becoming the Israelites/Jewish People. Moreever, this is not told as a political polemic, but as a theological one. The Exodus was performed by God Himself, and the becoming of age of a people is inseparable with the covenant drawn with Him. “And I shall be for you a God, and you shall be for Me a people.”

“בעבור זה עשה ה’ לי בצאתי ממצרים — It is for this worship that God took me out of Egypt,” the father tells his son. The religious obligations which fill the night are forever intertwined with the tale being recounted.

This narrative must be repeated every year, and experienced every generation. Jewish identity isn't a given; we have no national borders or even ideology which unites us. Assimilation is never more than a generation away. Every subsequent generation must find a way to tell the Exodus narrative about itself; how we remain a people and how we use our religious traditions to craft our own identity. בכל דור דור חייב אדם לראות את עצמו כאילו הוא יצא ממצרים.

What does the wicked son challenge? מה העבודה הזאת לכם. Who cares? Is it true? Is it really important?

He never denied any tenet of the faith. He simply declared it irrelevant, that he is not a part of it. “For you — not for himself.” Yet he has כפר בעיקר, denied the fundamentals of Judaism. He has not chosen to consider this identity, this narrative, this peoplehood, relevant to his own existence.

The Wise Son, the חכם, doesn't show any commitment, any theological claims, or any moral superiority. Indeed, he has no such claim, and cannot be said to be a צדיק, a better person. All he brings to the table is an inquisitive mind, one which seeks to learn. מה העדות והחוקים והמשפטים אשר צוה ה’ אלוהינו אתכם? What does the Jewish tradition teach? For him Judaism is relevant, it is a living breathing tradition worth engaging in.

And what is the response to the Wicked Son? Is he wrong? How can the father show Judaism is truly worth it's salt? Why is interest justified.

I posit that he cannot. The Wicked Son’s disinterest is as valid as the Wise Son‘s interest. Identities are not claims which can be demonstrated true or false, it is a personal motivation, grounded in the human search for connection and meaning.

But it demands consistency. And consistency come with consequences. אלו היה שם לא היה נגאל, if he had been in Egypt, he would not be redeemed. He simply isn't part of the collective which was formed in the narrative and continues to be shaped by it. And that's ok. But the rejection is mutual. A coherent and cohesive Judaism can allow those who have no interest to part ways, but cannot allow an aggressive disinterest.

הקהה את שיניו — Break his teeth.

Some may not believe, and they make the choice to not participate. Some may even remain and challenge. But those who fight — remove the fangs. Your disinterest isn't a reason for us to lose interest as well. We respect your right to leave, but please respect our right to stay. To respect the tradition of three millennia. Stop coming armed. It's ok to live and let live.

I love Judaism. I love the people, the community, the texts, and the traditions. I aspire to be the Wise Son. But I respect the right of other to express disinterest. I just have one request. If you're disinterested, just don't be involved. It's not worth the fight.